Unreported Shananagins!!!

I went through a time this year, where I just stopped brining my camera, stopped thinking to snap some everyday photos of our lives.  Now, of course I regret it, because these are really my favorite memories.  Everyday shananagins.  My kids as their goofy-kid selves.  Here's a few that I did manage to capture.  (Notice that Autumn seems to be involved in many of these moments, as well as her dear cousin Lydia....HUMMMM!)

 A peaceful moment amid the whirlwind.!!!

Back to School

Just because I thought my life was too easy.... I decided to start training to become a Holistic Nutritional Therapist.  I am taking it slowly, only going part time, but it has been an amazing experience for me.  Once a week, I get to drive into the heart of downtown Denver, carry my school books and chat with my classmates at break.  I almost teared up the first day, knowing that this is just for me and feeling so lucky for the chance.

I have been researching nutrition for many years and had become so confused and frustrated by the contradictions.  I decided that I wanted to understand the mechanics of nutrition so that I can sort through all of the information out there.

I am about to finish my first Biochemistry class (well second if you think I remember my BYU days).  It just feels so amazing to be learning in a formal setting once again.  On my slow pace,  it will take me three years to complete, but it just feels so good to be started.

A new chapter

Since this is my only journal, this is where I will write about this new chapter.  My mom, only 61, was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer today.  There is no cure.  The oncologist was very direct, gave us no timeline, but this will be what takes my mom away from me.  It was so surreal to be joking around with her in the car, in the waiting room and even after the appointment.  Our life seems so the same, but it's about to change drastically.   I can't see my life without her here.  I have never gone more than a few days without talking with my mom and now there is some invisible force that will take her away.

I am heart broken, yet feel so grateful for the ways that we have all been prepared over the past few years for this.  I feel the structure that has been built up in our lives, in our testimonies and in our family. I know that it was meticulously put together through Divine help.  I am grateful for this opportunity to focus, to get rid of extra things and to put my energies where they need to be.  I feel supported by amazing friends here and by my and my mom's guardian angels.  This day marks a shift in my life.  I'm not sure what the repercussions will be, but I will never see the world the same after today.  Life is good, but it has a funny way of teaching us truth.

No matter what, I know that I have an awesome mom.  A totally dedicated, honest, bold warrior mom.  She has faced the worst there is with humor and grace.  Today, she did the very same.  I broke down, she reveled in the fact that she never has to go back to her awful job again.  I sobbed, while she called her many close friends and comforted them.  I got angry, while she was stoked to go buy herself an iPhone 5 to replace her work phone.  No doubt, she will continue to teach me through whatever time we have left.  I do not doubt where her spirit will go.  I do not worry about her future.  I worry about her suffering and I feel really sorry for myself and for my kids.

I just have such melancholy tonight.  I need to get to sleep, I have a final in the morning, but all of that just seems so trivial.  Maybe I need my sleep tonic tonight or maybe I should just watch Pride and Prejudice until I doze.....Probably  both.....

Our feast!!!

 We had a low key, easy Thanksgiving this year.  The Kalu Klan came over and it was just cousins playing, and relaxing about the house.  

We fired up our favorite purchase of the year, our beloved Trager Smoker, and cooked our bird to perfection.  I flavored him, Grandma Kathy watched the temperature and Jro was the surgeon.

Kerry was home  from BYU!!!  It is so nice having these young ladies to help.  I love to pick their brains about what is cool and what is not, since I am totally lost as to music and pop culture these days.

We still have a kids table.  I dream about a giant table that will fit everyone, but alas, the time has not yet come.  Thank goodness for table clothes to give the illusion of elegance.

At the end, Jason and I took our annual post-feast walk.  Our walks are one of my favorite things in the world.  We are always planning the future,  day dreaming together and solving the world's problems.  Jason is always on the look out for his ideal property to buy and I am just glad to be out of the chatter and be with my guy.

Blog Boost

Okay, 2012, was not my best year of posting.  There has been much to report, I just have not reported it.  I have decided, that for the month of December, I will post every day.  Some catch up, some just current babbling, but I want 30 more posts before this addition of JROZCrew goes to print.

So staring with some current events:

Autumn Grace (aka.  tweetle bug, tweetle Beatle, sim-sola-bim or Autumn Grace Rozalakowski) turned four.  We had a very special guest at her party.  The one and only,  Rapunzel came and dazzled her guests for one magical hour.  At first, Autumn wasn't quite sure how to handle the party crasher, but she soon realized that it was indeed the real Rapunzel.  

The girls asked her where Flynn Ryder was and two of the girls asked her to come over to their house.  

Rapunzel sang, read a story, taught them to twirl and to dance like a princess.  I literally had smile cramps in my cheeks after the party.  The look in each of the girls' eyes was just precious.  And, in case you didn't know, Rapunzel is a musical theatre major and she filled my home with the most amazing sounds.  

On her actual birthday, Autumn went to see Wreck-it-Ralph with her big bro.  When I told her she was going on a date with Jaxen she smiled and said "Oh, man, now he's going to have to give me a kiss."  And you better believe, she kept on asking for kisses during their special day.

Five Years of Falls

I am feeling a bit nostalgic these days.  No matter what you say, fall seems like the beginning of the year.   Since I started school in 1982, it has always marked the beginning of a new chapter.  This year is no different.  I am sensing a great shift in my life, it's exciting and scary all at once.  

Going through some photos of our fall activities of 2007,  I had to pause to connect to this young family.  The memories are happy, but my heart sank just a little.  Life was so much simpler.  My kids were always under foot and the answers seemed so much easier.  Five years ago, we were in our last year of residency, in good ol' Fenton Missouri.  Jaxen was 7, Madeline 5 and Elijah  2.  We were just starting to talk about adding one more to the mix, but miss Autumn was just a hope at that point.   

 If these memories seem so far from my mind, I am left to wonder how much they do or will remember these favorite times of mine.

This fall, it's been about football, soccer, iPhones, Tramp jumping, piano, flute, school assignments and scouts.  They are speeding up and I am slowing down....I guess this is the way it is supposed to be.  I love watching them mature and, if I am being honest, I am better with older kids.  Luckily, I still have my Autumn, with her perfectly pudgy tummy and luscious cheeks, for a few more years.  Now, Jaxen is 12, Madeline 10, Elijah 7 and my "just a hope" baby is almost 4.  I am one lucky lady.  I started to imagine 5 years from now, and I just couldn't.  Not the kids, but I will almost 40, with a Senior in high school!!!  Oh my!