34 Years: Looking Back

Looking way back!!! Where the foundation for most of my decisions were laid. People, Places and Experiences that shaped my views and beliefs.
These early memories seem to stick the most. I can remember the names of people from elementary school, but not those that I met yesterday. I can tell you smells, what I ate and what I was feeling, better than I could what I was doing last week.

I like being 34. It's a good place to be. It's more stable, less social, more spiritual and I'm more focused on what I know is important. As I type this, Autumn is having a tantrum on the floor, the dishes are half-way done and I am still hoping to get my workout done after the kids go to bed. At 34, kids, husband and church are my focus. My day- dreams are about travel and poising myself to be ready to pounce when there is a little more time at my disposal. Classes galore, maybe a small paycheck coming my way. I don't know, but I am seeing that time coming, the next phase, and I want to be ready!!! By 68, who knows maybe I will remember how cute Madeline was about wanting to make my day special. I will remember the ice cream cake we had for dinner and how the calls and emails brightened my day though I was feeling a bit under the weather.

Skiing with dad

Jason's commitment to teaching our kids to ski has been very impressive to me. He is motivated by a vision of us all together in a few years, seeing it as a our family's winter fun. I am getting a bit nervous as the kids progress and I stay home with Autumn. They are passing me up quickly and I fear that I will be forced onto Black diamonds far too soon. These photos were taken at Keystone a few weeks ago, a snow playground is more my style! :)

Does it ever end???

Here is my niece, depicting how I feel right now about an ever-constant part of life----Diet! I actually enjoy loosing large amounts of weight, like after my babies. It's rewarding and a challenge. It's this maintenance that drives me looney!

I have spent the last year and a half gaining and loosing the same 5 pounds. Still, not reaching my ultimate goal. Recently, I got on a kick and got down, right where I wanted to be, but (insert any number of reasons here) I got bored and started experimenting with what I could put back into my diet and still "maintain". The answer for me is that strict is the only way!

This is quit a challenge as a wife and mother. Jro's idea of a healthy eating plan is to stop having 2nds and to skip dessert-----most days of the week. He likes what he likes and is not up for much experimentation on his beloved meals.

"Rolled" into the "roll" of motherhood are many other "rolls". I am the cook, the snack getter, the table cleaner, the food buyer, toast toaster, Nutella spreader,lunch maker, meat griller, muffin maker, cookie allower and basically, trying to please my families pallet on an hourly basis person. Food!!!! It is around and required of me constantly! I love it and hate it!

The thing that wears on me most is that my entire mood seems to be based on this one factor. When I feel in control of my diet, I am so happy and more energetic. When I am off track, I beat myself up and get so discouraged. It's just a few pounds, up and down, but it bothers me so much! I know I'm supposed to relax and just enjoy life. (Perhaps not be so shallow) Blah, Blah...... I want to conquer this thing. It's more about control and overcoming than anything else.

I guess my point is that it feels like there should be an end. A way to balance fun and whimsy with swim suits and self esteem. A time when I don't have to be on the ball and work so hard. Is this a life sentence? Is it just women? Is it just me? Anyway, today, up a few pounds and recommitting, but I ask: "Will it ever end?"

Anniversary in Keystone

He's been my beau since I was 16. We disagree often, fight rarely and have always shared a great respect for the other. He is a typical male and can frustrate the heck out of me. He likes to relax, I am a driven project doer. He loves high adventure and dreaming big. I like routine and keeping things simple. He is practical and calculated. I am flighty and always changing my mind. I complain about his driving, he complains about my complaining (even pulling over and offering me the wheel---more than once) We like going to movies, taking walks and eating dessert. We still have much to learn about marriage and much to learn about each other. But, 13 years and four kids later, our duo is going strong.

Is it over already?

I felt like we just got our halls decked and the presents wrapped and WHOOOSH, another Christmas gone. Another year that my kids are growing faster than my mind can process. Another year that I am grateful to live near family and another year that my testimony was strengthened by the music, the kind words and the focus on our Savior.




Jro is preparing for our upcoming scuba lessons. This man loves studying and anticipating his hobbies almost as much as actually experiencing them.

A few more pictures

Since I, and my camera, were away from the action, Grandma Marty said she would take pictures of the tree cutting for me.





Thanks Marty! Maybe it's good that I wasn't there to watch my children wield weaponry!

A Griswald Christmas

When I was dating Jason and his favorite Holiday Tradition was watching Christmas Vacation, I should have known that this day was coming. It started off simply enough. We loaded up the family and headed to Grandma and Grandpa's land to find our first fresh Christmas Tree. We started up the steep mountain, but soon realized it was just too cold and blustery for little Autumn. I entrusted Jro with the kids and the picking of the tree



Autumn and I sang songs, counted "10......4........2......10" , and learned the great art of drawing on a fogged up window. They were gone for over an hour! I was getting nervous because Jaxen had hurt his knee the day before and I wondered if he was stuck somewhere or lost.



Frozen, red faced and smiling they came barreling down the mountain. There she was.....our humble tree. I just watched in awe as it was loaded, tied down and tagged. The true magnitude of Jason's "Clarkian" choice was not realized until it was stood up and grazed our ceiling. (to his credit it was a perfect guess..... that is if you want to touch the ceiling with your Christmas Tree) To be honest, the only thought I had was "Holy Crap.....now what do we do with it?"





Now the Rozeski's, like the Griswalds, do nothing half way. So it was secured to the wall and watered. Then, in an act I could watch in amazement, Jason actually grafted in branches he had gathered into the bare places.



Voila! Oh, wait....now it wa time to decorate it!





We all lived, the tree still stands, we are set for the Holidays!