Catching up on March

March will go down as one of the most hectic, hard, tiring, tragic, spiritual times in my life. Looking back on all that happened, the good, the bad and ugly makes my head spin.

We experienced the loss of two wonderful people in our family. First, Uncle Lyle, who lost his battle with cancer. He was such a good uncle to us, and treated our children like his own grandchildren. Mostly, he treated our Aunt Linda with love and we will miss him for his comic relief and good advice.


Then, Jason's grandma who was finally able to pass peacefully to be with her family on the other side. Grandma Tracey always treated me like I was her own grandchild and ALWAYS kissed us straight on the lips. Even if we said "No thank you" she would get up and serve us all cake or oreos when we came to visit.



Amid trips to hospitals to see grandma, ridiculous snow storms and a trip to Texas for Uncle Lyle's funeral, we also finished our basement and moved my mom downstairs. This turned out to be an amazingly long and hard process, as we once again purged ourselves of unwanted "stuff" and moved our food storage.....can by can.




Also, in the mix, Elijah turned 5!!!! He was so excited and loved all of the attention. We had crazy hair day, pajama day, hawaiian day and soccer got back into swing.

Probably the highlight, was Madeline's baptism. It was just a special day. We all felt it. As papa Ed gave her a blessing, he talked a lot about her courage and zest for life. It was a good reminder to me, just how great my kids are. They are brave, and they have to be to live in this world.

And of course, the next morning after Madeline's baptism at 7:30 am is when I found Autumn with some pills in her mouth. She is 100% herself, but I must say that I am not quit there. I just feel a sense of unease, and have trouble sleeping with the images of her those two horrible days. I guess I am trying to see if there was more of a lesson in it for me, more than the obvious. Last summer I went to the funeral of a baby girl who 17 months old as well. I thought my heart would burst with sadness and I just kept looking at my poor friend and wondering how she would handle the loss of such a sweet little thing. While in the ER, I was contemplating that very scenario. I can't even write what that was like, or how much it has changed me. If nothing else, I hold her much more closely, appreciate her every cuteness and try to be thankful that I was able to bring her home.

Jason's dad stayed up until mid-night on March 31st because he wanted to see it leave. It certainly was one to remember and one to try to forget.

She is home and herself again.

I am still trying to emotionally recover from what was the worst 36 hours of my life. Sunday morning, Autumn reached up and tipped over a bottle of pills. They were very small and she swallowed seven of them, before I found her and dug two more out of her mouth.

From there, it was a nightmare. She was very sick, agitated and experiencing what looked like a very terrifying experience. The helplessness I felt was overwhelming, as well as the anger with myself for being off guard. The poor little thing fought for a good 20 hours, and then fitfully tried to recover for another 16. Once she finally was able to sleep a little, she woke up groggy, but with her personality emerging. The second night, she slept all night and woke up ready to roll. Here she is that morning, being silly and funny even though she was totally perturbed by all of the tubing she had attached to her body.





We are home, and trying to act normal, but I'm afraid, emotionally I am still a bit fragile. We saw the hand of God several times to save our little girl and feel humbled and grateful beyond belief.

A Young Lady

February 26th, Madeline turned 8!!! Such a big birthday in our house. She had a fun party at Chucke Cheeses', but being a lame mom, I forgot the camera. Here are a few pics from the iphone.


I really struggled with what to get her for her birthday this year. She is certainly a "tween". She is bored with toys, not into boys and just as confused as to what she wanted. Then I had my inspiration. Mary Poppins' just happened to be opening the week after her birthday. Bam, girls day out!!!!


Her next big day wont' be until March 27th, but she is very excited for her baptism.

Maybe it's the brown eyes!!!

My first two have big brilliant blue eyes. My last two, taking their fathers side, have these rich brownies. I don't know if it's birth order or what, but these dark eyed kiddos take a similar outlook on life. They both are charmers, quirky and both are out to let their view be heard.

Elijah has his own fashion sense and likes to express himself through his attire. Weather it be rockin' his graphic T's or his super fast "lellow" shoes, he sees something in the store and knows it's for him. He never lets his hoodie go to waste, he always has it pulled up with his hands him the pockets, only adding to his mystic. He has several admirers already, not at the preschool, but at the high school. The Mia Maids and Laurels have been totally taken in by his confidence and his ruthless flirtations.

And the Auty Body. Don't let her height fool you. She struts around this house like the queen, and thanks to her adoring syblings, she fully expects to be treated like one. She too has her own accessories. She will rarely be seen without her binki strapped on and her blanket (must be pink and satin) close at hand. She and I are in a hair war, I say hair must be done, she thinks wild and messy work best for her mojo. Autumn will dump me at the drop of a hat to get some cuddling from grand parents or Uncle Dave and Aunt Kendra. She is a tease, independent and a girl with a plan.

My older two are not as smooth with their social game. Even when they were younger, they were shy and most comfortable at home. Maybe there is a connection between the brown eyed gene and the "Too Cool---Trend Setter" gene. In any case, I know one thing for sure. Each of my kids are so opposite of the others and I have to be always on my toes to try and understand their ways.

My philosophy summed up by Lucy

Since I first had learn about food and learn to stay healthy, I have been slowly and steadily changing the way I eat. I go whole grain, fresh and little to no processed foods. As I mentioned before, fast food may as well have a skull and cross bones on it for all I'm concerned. I have been growing a strong testimony of the word of wisdom and how it has warned us of the "food dangers" of our day, just as much as the scriptures warn us of other traps, set to rob our agency.

I have been asked to talk at an enrichment on easy ways to lead a healthy life, and I have been struggling with how to present my ideas without sounding like Debbie Downer "WHAAAA...WHAAAAAA!!!!" Then I thought back to my, somewhat bizarre childhood, where lessons were taught through musicals and watching Andy Griffith, and I remembered one of the greatest moments in television history.

Lucy is trying to do a TV commercial and doesn't know the product contains 23% alcohol.

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The 1950's marks the time when people started to trust corporations to make their food and to put convenience over health. I'm sure at first those TV dinners and twinkies tasted bad compared to homemade food, but over time, our taste buds have been trained to crave the extra sugar, fat, hormones, anti-biotics, chemically altered "stuff" and preservatives the corporations use to make a profit.

Thanks Lucy for demonstrating my point and for reminding me that TV, like our food supply was much healthier when my mom was growing up, than it is for my kids.

Snowy Valentine's Morning

Happy Huggin' and Kissn'!!!!

Double Digits

Jaxen turned 10 on tues, and it has been a week of celebration! Despite my alluring suggestions to many other restaurants, the birthday boy chose McDonalds for his dinner. ( I really have grown to disdain all fast food, but McDonalds is the the ultimate gross out for me) I swallowed my pride, and a little bit of a salad and sat and marveled at how old he seemed.

Last year at this time, I wrote about how much I was struggling with how to parent Jaxen. I had more questions than answers, and most of all, I truly felt that I was loosing my connection with him. I vowed to do better, and I am so relieved to report that this year has been an amazing one for us. I found some answers, I tried new approaches, I faced some fears, and came out the other end a better mom. He has soared in school, gained confidence and taught me so much about how to let go and learn from these kids in my home.

Jaxen is a deep thinker, and sensitive to the spirit. His prayers can bring tears to my eyes and his ability to call me out when I've ventured into "crazy mom" leave me humbled. (and him in his room for a while) As much as I love having babies, this stage is so exciting as they start to hone in on what their talents and interests are. He's loving basketball, indoor soccer and gearing up for another summer of swimming. He is also showing interest in creative writing and art, showing that he has influences from both sides of the family.

His party is tomorrow---a bunch of 10 year old boys-----please send me strength!!!!